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I think I might have lost the motivation wholly. The drive to achieve something that seem unattainable, the drive to work towards it, the drive to be able to excel exceedingly beyond my ability. I lost them. Every thought of it, makes me feel depressed. I really wish that I would be able to get out of this shit hole soon but 6 months seems really, really long. It may happen in a blink of eye, just like how the past 5 months have been, but the thought of it, it's so dreadful. 

18th Birthday;

*pre warning gonna be a long post!*

15th February 2015: 

soooooo, went to study with the usual sunday study group! 

woke up a little later so i went there a little later! 

and when i reached darryl house, got a shock when i saw a cake on the chair with helium balloons floating around it!!! 

very thankful for this sunday study group because at least it got me studying! 

ate some cake and well junhui smashed some cake at my face tsk!! 

anyway, thank you guys for celebrating my birthday! 

then after that we study awhile & jiaxuan got to go cause she going for some run! 

then we study till like 5? and i was legit very hungry. 

so keep asking them what time we meeting with the clique etc. 

then finally they say okay we leave at around 5+-6

then suddenly they say want play taidi. 

then say want go inside the room and play. and i asked why.

darryl give such stupid excuse like the music too loud his ear hurt and i believed omg 

can't believe how stupid i am... 

in the end is to con me to the room..

after they give out the cards, darryl was like : i want go toilet. 

so me and junhui waited and then suddenly, agnes crystal elaine jingxuan bryan zhengxin pops out from behind!!! with pretty hot pink light pink white balloons! 

& these balloons total up to 18!!!!!! 

YAY LEGAL AGE HEHE

anyw shock dao AGAIN 

took a random photo of the balloons floating on the ceiling and it was actually pretty!!! 

got tumblr feel?

then afterwards we wanted to take bus to mrt station. 

but then they say very long like the journey and we are gonna be late etc. 

so we ended up cabbing.

took the cab and so dinner place is at holland village! 

first time like it's people planning the eating location and not me suggesting it! cause I'm super indecisive and i really dk what to eat but just give me food and i will eat it! 

so there actual place is MU PALOUR! 

pretty little cafe! 

& so Ning and qinkai was there!!! 

with a big helium balloon that's 18!! 

damn pretty and didn't realised it was that big until the next day in school... 

ate some burger i forgot what but it's damn nice!!! 

the buns are cool like it's black in colour and it's nice too! 

stomach legit feel like exploding. 

drank their milkshake too and i swear this is legit the nicest milkshake I've drink thus far.

really highly recommended! 

the fries are normal. 

prices range is quite affordable too!

MU Parlour 

16A Lorong Mambong (Second floor)

Holland Village

crystal they all ate some chicken wings that are spicy and she ning and jx all can't take spice.... 

super funny they keep spam water.

and after that they lie about not being full cause they didn't eat a lot of chicken cause its too spicy etc. then say wanna go eat sushi.

ended up they went to buy a slice of cake and starting singing happy birthday! 

hehe thank you guys, you guys really make me feel very blessed. 

thankyou for your love showered to me. 

although we just know each other for awhile, you guys still did so much for my birthday.

thankyou for the cards, the surprise, the balloons, the treat and the presents. i love them all very much and I've really enjoyed myself on this day! 

idk what will i do without you guys with me in school, in dance. 

love you all very much and let's work hard towards our A's in A level! 

WE CAN DO IT! 

& here's the individual shots with the rest! 

then after all this photo taking etc., headed back to darryl house to collect my balloons. 

cause there's too many balloons, ning brought home the '18' balloon for me. 

yay thankyou pek father for driving me home!!!!!! or not idk how am i going to go home with 27 of the balloons!!! 

reach home bathe wash up and sleep cause there's school tmr! 

16th February 2015 (actual day!):

head to school feeling zombified cause i slept at like 2 last night... 

anyway jolene demanded me to be in school early today hehe

and she passed me some cookies she made herself! thank you love!!!! 

omg never thought the balloon was that big until i have to carry it around in school.

i swear everyone's just staring at me carrying the balloon. 

it was bigger than me........!!!

and during assembly cause it was floating around still, the sc pres actually went : the one with the balloon pls keep it low. 

OMG and everyone's like looking at me?!?!?!?!

anyway a clique group shot! 

and then photos with people who aint there ytd! 

 

ohgod maths lecture on my birthday WHY WHY WHY 

but thank god there's no test!!! 

& during econs, cause got the balloon big big at the back, when ms tng asked us to stand to answer question, and she saw the balloon, she asked who's birthday is it today? 

& she let me sit down!!!! JOY IN LIFE

& ms tng wished me happy birthday also. 

FORESEEING A IN ECONS. 

thank god no delay of econs lesson by the way!!!

carrying the balloon home and on the bus everyone is just looking at me... 

reached home and i have this very weird feeling. 

was resting on the sofa,

until suddenly i heard xuan xuan talking to somebody & that somebody SOUNDED SO MUCH LIKE FANG.

so i went up to my room & lights were on?!!!?!?!

then i heard a lot of sounds coming from my toilet & I'm like what?!?!

then i went to check and guess who i saw. 

edlyn reb fox inside cutting pasting laughing.

& when i say : what you all doing in my toilet?!!?

they suddenly scream like MAD

and legit MAD that kind of mad.

and immediately close the door. 

and I'm like WHAT?!!? GUYS HAHAHAHA

then i heard people running down from the stairs. 

so i went out of my room to check and just nice, eugenia was running down and when she saw me she screamed damn loudly like see ghost like that.

DAMN FUNNY!!!!

then I'm like whats ontop can i go up. then fang came and she push me to sit down on my bed.

then they have some secret meeting outside the toilet door. 

then when i wanted to walk there, fang stare at me and say SIT DOWN THERE DONT MOVE.

hais bullying birthday girl!! 

then when all is done already, they open the door for me to see final product! 

then they say aiya, actually the balloons all inside the shower place then nicer, so they started throwing balloons inside to the shower place, in front of me. 

can't emphasise how funny it is. 

but was legit damn happy to see them all doing all this hehe

so anyway final product + photo of me + group shot! 

so they tell me how tiring it is to blow all this balloons, cause got 100 of them. then tell me how they extend the job to my cousins and my uncle as well. 

hehe thank you guys for these toilet surprise it's very pretty and i love it a lot. even though i spoiled it myself. 

but can't blame me cause econs ended early and i didn't go for dance in the end hehe

then bathed at my mum's room etc. and then headed out to orchard central for dinner @ 49 seats! 

their tom yum pasta is quite spicy like my lips are burning..!! 

but it's nice just that the noodles are a little too sticky together. 

the chicken chop is VERY nice!!!!!! ordered popcorn chicken and cheese fries as sides for them as well! and their cheese is overflowing. 

they literally spammed the cheese like it's free. 

makes the cheese fries very worth it! 

overall, the food is nice and the place has a good ambience too! 

i guess we were the noisiest there?!

but anyway, the price is affordable as well! 

49 seats @ Orchard Central 

#08-08

181 Orchard Road 

then anyway, after dinner, they brought out the cake and sing happy birthday! 

but before the cake was presented, they all crowd around it dk doing what for like 10-15 mins?!!?

then when they finally come fourth with the cake fang was like, we doing operation to the cake.

cause got some crisis there then she say the cake was legit very pretty but just that something happened.

in the end, it's cause the cake too tall i supposed, then it fell off.....

then they overthere trying to salvage it!!! 

but guys it's okay lah, no matter how the cake become i still love it. 

cause you guys actually when to order and buy the cake that i wanted badly!! 

turquoise ombre cake!!! 

after eating, we headed to toilet and then, of course picture time! 

 

thank you girls for the surprise the cake the celebration the presents the company. 

 I'm thankful for each and every one of you here especially.

it's not easy to meet with my demands and expectations but you guys still try your very best.

know that I'm very short tempered but you all still stick through with me.

even though we have all separated and went to different school, still thankful for the regular meet ups and the never ending conversation we have! 

cheers to many more years of friendship with you guys and all the best for poly people! 

i know that all of you have potential and you will all succeed doing something you're good at! 

and not being constrained by stupid sec school style curriculum and subjects like science where you all hate a lot, especially for fang rox!!

anyway after eating dinner, was intending to take bus 502 home with dawn so we went to the busstop.

but sadly, the bus takes like 20mins?!?!! to come?!?!

so we put off that idea and wanted to take the train.

called them and they don't want to wait for me sobs (actually it's cause of fang)

then wanted to take train but ended up taking 174! 

reached home, and my sister started nagging me like mad and keep commenting on my balloons.

then keep asking me to put them away. 

BRR I CANT EVEN SETTLE DOWN FIRST

then so she asked me to bring the balloons up to the study room cause it's getting in her way and she say our room smell like latex and say smelly etc. 

then so no choice, had to bring those balloons up.

& on my way up..... suddenly, at the stairs between the 3rd floor and 4th floor, suddenly got people shout HAPPY BIRTHDAY and started spraying those spray can stripes at me..!

SHOCK DAO...!! 

my primary school clique are up there waiting for me, and they decorated my rooftop with pretty neon lightings!!!

and fang was there as well. she rushed there after celebrating with me with secondary school people

omg 

and that's why they can't wait for me to take the train together!  

there's turquoise and white balloons, and also there's letters, with photos and things that we all done previously. 

really, can't express how thankful i am for this group of friends. 

it's been really long since i know them and our friendship is still going steadfast strong! 

though we are all in different school and rarely talk on whatsapp as well, but we still make time for each other as well as during every meet ups, we just have so much to talk about. 

it's pretty amazing actually to how this clique is formed but we still cherished each other a lot. 

thankful for the surprise and sorry to keep you all waiting.

like even ophelia is still wearing her school uniform!!! 

was actually very anticipating for the sushi date the next day but end up it was just a coverage to trick me to believing that the celebration was next day! 

anyway, very thankful and yes the roof is legit pretty!! 

thankyou for the efforts even though it was a short while! 

well, lastly, i think my sister deserved some attention too. 

thanks for being the maid like cleaning up those spray can strips etc. 

helping me to clear those balloons from our room so we can sleep.

though you are annoying at times and like to ignore me when I'm talking to you, like to order me around, but you still treat me well most of the time or perhaps sometimes only...

but still thank you for coordinating with my friends and helping them with the birthday surprises.

hearing them telling me about how they talk to you is really quite funny.

like the our room one, you : can't paste on the wall, can't go up the bed, cause bed is for people to sleep one not to sit not to step etc. (seriously though)

and the yacht thingy. 

well, for my parents, it's quite awkward to type online, and they won't read it anyway, so noooooo not gonna say anything but just I'm really thankful for them okay! 

FINALLY DONE WOOHOO HOPE YALL ENJOYED READING

TIME CHECK : 1.07 AM

GOODNIGHT! 

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